Inside the CFL: CTE fears, crippling injuries darken retirement for former Alouette Matthieu Proulx

When Matthieu Proulx, 45, awakens in the morning, he’s in pain. His neck hurts. His knee hurts. His body in general hurts.

He must go through a series of stretches to alleviate the soreness and he has spent about $1,000 on different pillows so he can sleep peacefully. Proulx was an Alouettes safety for six seasons before retiring in March 2011 at age 29, and his body took an incredible toll after playing a modest 76 regular-season games. Proulx underwent eight surgeries on virtually every part of his body. Both his tibias were fractured, as were both ankles.

He suffered torn knee ligaments and hamstrings and broken ribs and fingers as well. All his lateral meniscus has been removed and he suffers from arthritis in his left knee. He wears a brace most days and, when he goes for his daily walks with Evelyne, his wife of 17 years, Proulx’s knee buckles. Three years ago, he played a game of shinny hockey with his brother, pulled his groin and couldn’t walk for two weeks.

He’ll eventually require knee replacement surgery. At the height of his career, Proulx’s salary was $120,000, but few in the CFL play for the money. Selected fifth overall by the Als in 2005, he made 98 defensive tackles in his career, 46 on special teams, intercepted nine passes and recovered three fumbles. “I’m 45, not 75,” he told The Gazette during, at times, an emotional interview. “Until I was 42, the answer would come out before the question was finished — never, I had no regrets. The past three years, I’ve questioned what I did and the impact it has had on my life. “Football has given me a lot and I’m very, very, very grateful.

I won two Grey Cups, played with great people and coaches. I’ve lived a life many would only dream of … but physically, I’m starting to question what I put my body and myself through.” Proulx, a Plaster Rock, N.B., native who relocated to Gatineau with his family, was an East Division all-star in 2009, but might best be remembered for taking a public stand, along with teammate Étienne Boulay, before the 2010 Grey Cup, complaining of the substandard accommodations the team received in Edmonton. A law school graduate and the team’s players’ association representative at the time, Proulx missed the game with a knee injury, prompting his decision to retire.

But, sadly, there’s more. Proulx sustained five documented concussions that he’s aware of. Since the CFL had no concussion protocol at the time, he thinks the number was probably higher. He returned to games prematurely, but doesn’t hold the Als organization responsible, stating it’s ingrained into players to play no matter the circumstances. “You could have a headache but, if you were OK, you went back in — even if you weren’t OK,” said Proulx, a football analyst for RDS who didn’t pursue a law career. “You’d answer a few questions while on the stationary bike.

It’s because you had a concussion that you can’t remember your name, the date or the team you’re playing. We know that now.” The physical turmoil Proulx is enduring is well hidden — he’s the epitome of fit at 6-foot-1 and 180 pounds, 30 pounds below his playing weight.

Although he can no longer play soccer or hockey, he exercises and does yoga. Nonetheless, there’s a void in his life. “I train to be fit and to diminish the pain,” said the father of two girls, Lucie, 13, and Frédérique, 11. “But I can’t do much, so I go for physiotherapy. I want to move. I want to have fun.

I don’t want to be done having fun and playing, but that’s what it is. I’m super happy. I’m fulfilled. I just can’t do that much anymore. “I don’t know how many good years I have in front of me … mental health-wise,” Proulx continued, almost shockingly. “That’s the thing with concussions — we don’t know.

There are a bunch of guys that played these sports and had numerous concussions. Guys who just flipped and fall sick. I don’t know what’s waiting for me, and it’s scary.” The reality of what Proulx potentially could be facing was driven home in May, when news of Claude Lemieux’s death was announced. The former Canadien, 60, committed suicide only three days after he carried the ceremonial pre-game torch into the Bell Centre before a playoff game.

His death sparked renewed focus on chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) — the progressive degenerative brain disease linked to repeated head impacts. Lemieux’s family announced they would donate his brain to Boston University’s CTE Center. “I’m scared,” Proulx said. “Am I going to flip at 50 or 55? Am I going to get Alzheimer’s? Lou Gehrig’s?

Parkinson’s? All these illnesses that are associated with concussions? Who knows?” Proulx has changed his outlook on life and is determined to live it to the fullest. When he played, he saved money for his retirement.

Now he spends. He travels and dines out. “I want to live differently … biting into life and realizing, at my age, this is a gift,” he said. “I’m lucky to be here. If I don’t have anything (left financially) at the end, f— it.” hzurkowsky@postmedia.com Help is available if you or someone you know is struggling. Call Info-Social at 811, Option 2.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or Suicide Action Montreal at 1-866-277-3553.